It has been a tough week so far. And I want to talk briefly (briefly as am so shattered) on tiredness. And excuse me here for using the term, ‘Mother’ and ‘Mothering’, but I am going to; I think often, but not always of course, this kind of tiredness applies more to Mothers than Fathers. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not a Mother worn out with the broken sleep of a newborn at the breast every hour. Nor do I have a five year old wanting the space under the bed checked for monsters and waking with repeated nightmares. I have probably had plenty enough hours of actual sleep (sorry to you parents of younger children for whom I know that is not the case). I have even been out to the cinema with friends this week and today had a pub lunch. I have not worked too hard. My body has not been physically over-exerted. BUT I am still shattered. Why? Motherhood. And it’s been a tough, tough week. It’s been so draining trying to get through the challenges the children have presented to me and I am just emotionally wrung out and exhausted. How mothering sometimes feels I think, especially if you happen to be Mother to a child with any extra needs. The analysis of the problem situation going round in my head has been absolutely constant and whilst the husband has been worried too (and working far harder and longer hours and much more physically than I do) I think, as the Mother, I am the one on the edge, after just five days, of emotional exhaustion.
Today proved a positive one to be fair with a big step forward made together with an absolutely amazingly supportive school and tonight I will have wine (mmmmm – can’t wait) and we will muddle through Friday and then it will be the weekend. But for now, emotionally exhausted. And it’s a term I briefly wanted to unpick for my own reassurance. What goes on in my head to keep this two boys alive and thriving (hopefully! It’s the ultimate goal anyway!) tires me out more than anything else I have ever done in my life. Not that I’d have it any other way of course! That’s all for now. Reflections finished. Wine time. ❤